The Daily Mock

Adele Holding American Hope Together With Weight Loss Pics

The newly-skinny Adele of UK fame and singing the “Hello” song has posted more pictures of her looking like she weighs less than she used to, which is reportedly the only reason the majority of the United States has decided not to end it all.

Adele Weight Loss Pics Barely Holding Together Economy, Mental Health Stability

Adele, who is not even from the United States, is reportedly the only thing holding together our shattered economy and devastated mental health.

Amid the coronavirus pandemic, civil unrest in the face of racist police brutality, severe cabin fever, shame, vitriol, tension, fear and general insanity, Adele is indeed doing her part to keep the foundation of the United States from crumbling beneath our feet.

We thank Adele for the pictures and hope she has at least 500 more on deck to get us all through the rest of this year. Then we can really say Hello from the other side.

Pssst….

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