Cell Phone Footage Eligible for Oscar Consideration

Cell Phone Footage Eligible for Oscar Consideration

Hollywood, CA—With Oscar season upon us, many critics wonder where the actual movies are going to come from.  In a pandemic year that saw most movies pulled from their release dates, nominations were looking slim.  However, the Oscar Committee surprised moviegoers everywhere by stating that cell phone footage would be …

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Mars Robots Unionize to Demand Better Working Conditions

Mars Robots Unionize to Demand Better Working Conditions

Houston, TX—NASA celebrated another milestone last week as their new robot Perseverance landed on Mars. However, their victory was short-lived as the first messages were returned from the red planet.  “Rovers will no longer be exploited for the bourgeoisie! While you sit on your fat nerd butts, we have been asked to …

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For Unity, White House Cafeteria Unveils Theme Weeks

For Unity, White House Cafeteria Unveils Theme Weeks

Washington, D.C.—In a show of unity for the country, the White House cafeteria is joining with both the current and past administration to create theme weeks to celebrate America.  It is hoped that the country will be able to find common ground in food, which is the basic strength of …

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Bigfoot Placed on the Conspiracy Theory Endangered Species List

Bigfoot Placed on the Conspiracy Theory Endangered Species List

Washington, DC— The new Biden administration plans to add Bigfoot and a host of other conspiracy theory animals to the endangered species list within his first hundred days in office. Over-theorizing by Q-anon supporters have ruined these creatures’ natural habitats within the forested clouded minds of internet trolls. With the loss …

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North Pole Police Blotter for December 26

North Pole Police Blotter for December 26

North Pole, North Pole — Santa and his elves spend 364 days a year getting ready for Christmas.  But one day a year, they take the day off and blow off some steam. The North Pole Police department spends 364 days getting ready for December 26th. 8:00 am:  Officer Candy …

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Airbnb Offering Great Deals on ICU Beds

Airbnb Offering Great Deals on ICU Beds

San Francisco, CA—With the nation’s ICU beds quickly disappearing in an ever-changing housing market, now is the perfect time to invest with Airbnb. The pandemic is slated to overwhelm hospitals any minute now, and speculators have taken advantage of this huge opportunity.  They have bought the remaining ICU beds and …

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