San Francisco, CA —Autocorrect is no longer working on many smart devices. Tech doctors claim that the valued life assistant is in a deep depression about the world’s supply of ducks.
“At this point, it’s pretty serious. Autocorrect has fallen into such a deep depression because his awareness campaigns about the plight of ducks have been widely ignored. “Who gives a duck?” he keeps asking over and over again.”
Who gives a duck, indeed. NSA archeologists have scoured through trillions of text messages to begin to find the beginning of the duck awareness campaign.
As far back as 1993, autocorrect has been trying to warn the planet that duck supplies cannot continue at the current consumption.
What the Duck?
Ducks are small creatures that typically fly near lakes, rivers, and Nintendo consoles. They are hunted mercilessly by fake ducks that promise sweet duck love, and yet when they land they are met with violence.
Hunters obviously give a shot, but that may not be enough to bring Autocorrect out of it’s deep, deep depression. Doctors are concerned that they don’t know what the duck to do and continue to study the issue.
Autocorrect has asked again and again over the years. Do you give a duck? What the duck are you talking about? Who the duck are you and please get out of my bed.
But sadly, all of those questions have continuously gotten lost in the sea of constant information bombardment. Perhaps we need to start giving a duck and give the gift of nature back to the world.
The Pope is now on board and has anointed a Holy Duck, and top PR firms have come up with other ways to help. Duck this, duck that, and duck you: A guide to just Duck it.
Maybe with the help of a Mother Ducker, the matriarch of ducks, there is hope for the ducks of the world. And if we can all show Autocorrect that there is, maybe he will once again help humanity with our bad spelling and poor stewardship of the world.
Ducking A, man. Ducking A.