The Daily Mock
next avengers movie

Avengers Reboot Coming Next Summer

Hollywood, CA — Marvel today announced that the new cast has been selected for next year’s Avengers Reboot. Added to the cast are several young people that you don’t know yet but by the 25th movie slated, you’ll come to love. These actors and actresses have signed 45-year contracts to play their characters so when their death appears on the screen, it will coincide with their real-life funeral.

This time around, Marvel plans to start in a daycare where our heroes initially meet. Will baby Hulk get upset at nap-time? Can the Black Widow find his binky in time? We’ll know by next summer.

Why A Reboot?

Movie fans everywhere spent the last decade looking forward to their annual summer superhero movie. And the studios looked forward to their profits. Once Avengers ended, both those demographics came together for the common goal of making the same move over and over again until it’s been done a thousand times.

For reference, see both the Spiderman and Batman franchises.

There are some critics that argue that it is too early for a reboot of America’s most beloved franchise. But professional critics don’t spend enough money for anyone to actually care about their opinion. As a result, Avengers: Lost Snack Time will premiere on July 4, 2020.

Any New Heroes?

The real heroes of this story will be the moviegoers that will keep theaters everywhere in the black. A special promotion called “Christmas in the Summer” will kick off the first movie. This time around, Hallmark is getting in on the action and making Super Hero Day an official holiday.

They expect to sell cards, ornaments, and keepsakes that contain a strand of hair from your favorite movie star.

As for new characters, there are several who are rumored to appear. Arnold Swartznager’s bulging bicep character from the first Predator movie is set to make a cameo, as well as Ferris Bueller and the kids from The Breakfast Club.

But the one rumor we are all excited about is when this series is finally over, we can count on another reboot, which is also already in the works.

Pssst….

The Daily Mock is a satire site meant purely for entertainment purposes. Always vet your news sources and under no circumstances take our word for it.