The Daily Mock
Cat Scan Machine

Buying a CAT Scan Machine Now the Best Real Estate Investment

Dallas, TX — Charlie Stromburg holds a conference on the best real estate investments of the future. He says that within five years, medical equipment such as a CAT Scan machine will be the next sure thing.

He advises his attendees to snatch them up now before the market gets competitive. Currently, lower-end machines can be had for the low price of $65,000. These fixer-uppers can then be flipped for millions if you follow his instructive videos which retail for $19.95.

How Does the Investment Work?

Normally, a hospital purchases the machine directly from the manufacturer. They recoup the entirety of this initial investment in a few short weeks. At this point, the hospital can make a small profit. Now normally you would expect the cost of service for a scan would go down, but they do not. The price for a scan stays the same. This is the business model that caught Charlie Stromburgs eye.

“It was the most beautiful supply and demand con I had ever seen,” said Mr. Stromburg. “I supply the machine, the hospital demands the money! It’s a win-win for everyone! Well, not the patient. That guy is pretty screwed. He should take my seminar though, and I’ll teach him how to make his money back.”

Other Investments

A CAT Scan machine isn’t the only real-estate investment of the future. Investing in MRI machines pretty much works the same way and as most patients can’t tell the difference, that means more profits in the pockets of the investor. Wheelchairs, EKG machines, blood pressure cuffs–all are ripe for the right savvy businessman to come along and continue to gouge the American public.

However, there may be some drawbacks. First, tax laws currently make it difficult for an investor to not pay taxes on his recently acquired wealth. Secondly, eventually someone, somewhere, may finally figure out what is going on and demand that healthcare become affordable.

This would be ruinous to the medical equipment investor. To protect yourself, you should at least set aside a small fund to bribe your federal congressman. You won’t need much as it turns out they cost way less than a CAT Scan machine.

**Editors note: CAT Scan machines are not for cats.


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