The Daily Mock

Cat Losses One Eye, Changes Career from House Cat to Pirate

The feline formerly known as mittens the house cat has changed his name and his career.

In an unfortunate accident involving a toddler with an umbrella, a Tampa, Florida cat lost his eye. After spending weeks in the hospital, the kitty – who had listed his job title as mouser on hospital intake forms – returned to the scene of the crime with a new attitude, a new name, and a new job. 

Mittens will now only meow to One-Eyed-Pete. OEP is in the process ofinalizing his move. Once his eye patch is delivered by Amazon, he will then begin his long trek to Key West. After doing intensive research, he has decided that would be the best place to find pirating opportunities. 

OEP has long been online friends with Kitter de Kats, as One-Eyed-Pete and his posse call themselves, from all over the world. When he received invites from many of the decedents of Snow Ball, the six-toed cat who had adopted famed writer, womanizer, and alcoholic, Ernest Hemingway, he decided he could not pass up the opportunity. 

One-Eyed-Pete’s humans were asked to contribute to this article and simply said through their representative, “no comment.” 

Pssst….

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