General News

New Horsemen of the Apocalypse Revealed for 2020

New Horsemen of the Apocalypse Revealed for 2020

London, ENG —It is often true that truth is stranger than fiction.  The year 2020 is no different.  Written generations ago, humanity was promised an apocalypse with Four Horsemen.  Pestilence, Famine, War,  and, of course, Death. However, what the profits have left out were the less photogenic horsemen of the …

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Police Uniforms To Come With Parental Advisory Sticker

Police Uniforms To Come With Parental Advisory Sticker

Minneapolis, MN —It is well known that exposing children to violence increases anti-social behavior.  This was the case made in the 1980s by Tipper Gore.  As a result, many video games and music now come with parental advisory stickers. Now those changes are coming to police uniforms as they are …

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U.S. Military Now Offering Curbside Beatings

U.S. Military Now Offering Curbside Beatings

St. Louis, MO — During these difficult times, the U.S. Military is now offering curbside beatings.  As the President calls in the army to police a civilian population during a national pandemic, rest assured that all CDC guidelines are being followed. By coming together during these difficult times, we can …

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Evangelicals are Disappointed in the Rapture

Evangelicals are Disappointed in the Rapture

Nashville, TN—Evangelicals are up in arms.  The Rapture is here, the four horsemen rain through the sky, and yet, many Evangelicals are not happy with how the boss is currently running the Rapture. “He’s hurting the wrong people!” stated Jill Trailer.  “I mean, I prayed most of my life and …

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Teachers Claim Parents are Making Too Much Money

Teachers Claim Parents are Making Too Much Money

Dallas, Tx —Area teachers are petitioning Congress to actually cut stimulus funding for parents.  Parents are currently receiving $500 per child to help them transition from working parents to homeschooling parents. Teachers Unions claim that the money would be better spent on billboards that say “Ha, Ha, Who’s overpaid now?”  …

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