Hollywood, CA—With Oscar season upon us, many critics wonder where the actual movies are going to come from. In a pandemic year that saw most movies pulled from their release dates, nominations were looking slim.
However, the Oscar Committee surprised moviegoers everywhere by stating that cell phone footage would be included in this year’s nominees.
“Clearly, the most entertaining moments of the last year came in the form of cell phone footage,” stated Rufus McDungus who runs the selection committee.
“Raw human drama played out on small screens everywhere. And if we’re allowing Netflix to get some Oscars, why not cell phone directors and film producers?”
Mr. McDungus does have a point as we sift through this year’s contenders.
This film catches the mythical Karen in all her horror. From the minute she struts into a store with her fanny pack to the moment that she asks to speak to the manager, audiences remain on the edge of their seats.
This is the film that spawned a hundred contenders, and each and everyone is better than the last. Hark, who tolls for thee? ‘Tis Karen and she comes at midnight!
The largest cast ever was assembled over the summer of 2020 to put together this heart-pounding epic. As protestors battled with police, images of Braveheart played out before the audience and critics. Would the men in black get away with it, or would justice prevail?
This movie became so popular that sequels were made every day for a solid three months. The musical is still on Broadway.
The “man gets hit in the balls” is a classic genre, but one that will always get a high number of views. Sometimes, the classics just get it right. This very low-budget film starred Woody Harrelson playing the unfortunate victim and Tina Fey as his love interest.
But no matter how much the hero avoids the nut punch, it always gets him in the end.
Cerebral films often do well with critics but not so much with audiences. However, The Maskless brought thrills to both. Each time a person was shown screaming about a mask that causes oxygen deprivation, we all collectively held our breath that that level of stupidity.
Often without a plot or a brain cell, The Maskless continued to map out the human condition in too real terms. We were all left uncomfortable, and yet, we wanted more.
The most surprising nominee is a short film called The Insurrection. Although not shown until this year, it was in the works for the last four years. The Insurrection is a political drama that pits a cult of personality against common sense.
As the cell phone footage shows complete idiots committing crimes, the audience is left to wonder who would believe such a far-fetched storyline. The answer, of course, is the FBI. The cast of The Insurrection cannot be here in person and a parole officer will accept any award on their behalf.
What do you do when you need the police, but the reason you need the police is because of the police? This crime thriller was the number one eye-opener last year and sparked new movements. The public got to see behind-the-scenes footage from our bravest officers shooting people unprovoked.
Tears, whispers, and a broken nation stood breathless after each and every release. The writing was terrible, the acting over the top, and the consequences non-existent. However, it hit a nerve and the public watched what happens when the streets meet the beats.
Can love survive the direst of conditions? You bet! This rom-com takes a novel approach to the boy meets girl story. Set against the backdrop of a global pandemic, a young man uses a program called Tinder to meet a girl. And even though the odds are stacked against them, they find love.
It’s the feel-good movie of the year and that will be concluded when they finally meet up in person. Was there a catfish? We won’t ruin the ending for you here, but it’s worth a watch!
No matter who takes home the little golden statue, it’s been a great year for cell phone footage.