“I was right,” Trump said in a recent interview with the New York Post, not only in regards to managing the coronavirus pandemic – but everything!
Trump: “I was right”
President Donald Trump gave himself a well-deserved pat on the back this week, almost dislocating his arm in the process, during an interview with the New York Post discussing America beginning to open up and come out of the lockdowns related to the coronavirus pandemic.
“I come from good genes, very good genes, okay, very smart,” President Trump began, “my uncle was a great professor, scientist, and engineer at MIT. Anyone would say on one of the smartest people in the world – it’s true!”
“So you think this played a role in your handling of the coronavirus pandemic?” The interviewer asked.
“Look, the one thing that the pandemic has taught us is that I was right,” Trump beamed proudly, flashing a self-congratulatory smile at the cameras.
“You mean about your handling of the pandemic?” The reporter asked.
“Of course,” Trump nodded, “but more, much more – so much more. We’re talking big league here.”
“Hmmm,” the reporter pondered and then asked. “For instance…”
“Stopping travel from China earlier than anyone in the world did.”
“Yes, you and every Republican keeps reminding us of that over and over,” the reporter remark wearily. “Give me a newer example.”
“I was right about everything,” said Trump
Trump smiled. “I predicted the New England Patriots would trade Tom Brady months ago.”
“Interesting…” The reporter paused. “I didn’t hear that prediction.”
“I predicted Iran would get unbelievably angry when we killed their General in that drone strike,” Trump said.
The reporter cocked her head. “That’s not really a prediction, that’s kind of obvious.”
“I predicted Joaquin Phoenix would win an Oscar for the Joker,” Trump said as a smile slid across his face, “tremendous actor, incredible performance.”
“You really predicted that?”
“It’s true!” Trump insisted. “I called 1917 to take the Oscar for best picture also. Patriotic Americans like me loved it. America first – huge!”
“But that film is about two British privates during World War I,” the reporter explained.
“I don’t think so,” Trump said, “America won World War I. 1917… British? No. That’s fake news.”
Not wanting to argue with the President of the United States, the reporter decided not to challenge the leader of the free world with facts and just move forward. “Mr. President, what decision, in your estimate, do you think was your most correct in terms of being the right move?”
“All of them.”
“There wasn’t a particular one?”
“Every decision I made was big, huge, major – even staggering,” Trump explained. “They were all right. I was right about everything!”
“Fair enough,” the reporter said. “We should expect nothing less from a very stable genius.”
Trump predicts what’s coming next
The reporter had asked Trump to explain, according to his estimates, his knack for continually making sound choices and wise decisions.
“I have a tremendous intellect,” Trump explained, “very few people really appreciate the phenomenal and brilliant powers of reasoning I possess. I’m a dealmaker. I don’t know how I do it – so fantastic every time – I just do. It’s unbelievable.”
“Do you have any predictions moving forward?” The reporter asked.
“I actually have several,” Trump began. “Sleepy Joe Biden will lose. Kim Jong Un will give up nuclear weapons. China will reimburse the US for coronavirus. And Mexico will pay for the wall.”
“That’s quite a prediction,” the reporter noted.
“I haven’t been wrong yet,” Trump said proudly.