The Daily Mock

Drug Smuggling Bad Hombre Escapes High-Security Prison

A highly placed official said a bad hombre house cat who is a capo in the all animal mafia La Leche De Los Gatos, which translates to The Cat’s Milk, was detained at a Sri Lanka, high-security prison on suspicion of smuggling drugs to inmates has escaped, according to local media reports. 

It is thought the drug ring moved its operation to Sri Lanka from Mexico in response to the Trump administration’s wall along the border of the United States from Mexico.

The kitty cat was detained at the prison last week with two grams of heroin, two sim cards, and a memory chip hidden in a plastic bag tied to its collar. 

The police suspect that the drug trafficking cat is part of the same cartel that was caught using eagle FrankTalons to smuggle drugs. The menagerie of accomplices was associated with the underworld crime boss Felix The Cat. Felix died last week from an overdose of catnip. 

There is no stipulation for animal arrest under Sri Lankan law.

Pssst….

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