The Daily Mock
boxer

Family Dog Forgotten Far From Home, Stays Because Screw Those Guys

San Francisco, CA—Skipper, a sixty-three-pound boxer, began the summer like he usually did.  He jumped in the back of the family minivan and headed out along the California coast.  With three kids in the backseat and Mr. Todd Rims driving, the summer vacation was just like every other one they had taken together.

However, when the vacation was done, the family forgot their wonderful good boy in a rest stop near Seattle.

Not This Time

Normally, Skipper’s instinct would have taken over but not this time.  In fact, Skipper realized that this was the twenty-third time that he had been forgotten on the family vacation.

On those other occasions, he would team with a comedic and heartwarming crew of likewise forgotten pets and make an amazing journey across the country, often finding themselves in unbelievable circumstances.

Once, it is reported that Skipper and a raccoon saved a baby from the rapids in Colorado and then foiled a bank robber.  But this time, something snapped in Skipper.  This time he decided to not come home.

“Screw it”

We were able to catch up with Skipper at his new job as an employee of Ralph’s Craft Brewery on the outskirts of Seattle. Using our dog translator, this is what Skipper had to say:  “Why the holy hell do they continue to forget me?  I don’t know, this smells like bullshit.

You mean to tell me that they drove three-hundred miles and never once asked where is the dog?  Malarkey. So screw it, I’m staying here.  I ain’t got time for a team-up.  I’m past that.  Let that family look after its own damn self.”

For weeks the Rim family seemed oblivious that their family pet wasn’t coming home.  After a month, they even put up a poster at a stoplight in Los Angeles.  Then they waited on their porch for the return of Skipper.  Instead, they received a postcard.

“Screw you guys.  Not coming home.  Give my bone to the cat, if he ever comes back since you forgot him, too.  You are horrible people.”