The Daily Mock
frankensteins monster

Frankenstein’s Monster Touts The Miracles of Therapy in New Memoir

London, England — Frankenstein’s monster has released a new memoir which explains that he was able to finally become a whole person after attending decades of therapy.  The book, expected to be a NY Times Best Seller, tells the life story of the monster beginning after popularly known events.  The monster begins by letting the world know the name he has finally picked for himself: Moonbeam Wonderjoy.

“I wanted to really let the world know the real me, the inner child that I thought was sewn shut all those years ago,” Moonbeam stated in a recent interview.  “I’ve felt pulled in different directions my entire life.  Am I a carpenter like my hands?  A mason like my feet?  Or am I nothing more than a murderer’s brain wrapped up in a shell of a man?  Well, I can finally say that I’m more than the sum of my parts.  I am Moonbeam Wonderjoy, and I love who I am.”

Daddy issues

Moonbeam claims that breakthroughs in therapy helped him finally realize the person he always wanted to be and not the person his father wanted.

“Do you live to please your maker or does your maker live to please you?  That was the first question that therapy helped me with.  Without that ah-ha moment, I don’t know if the rest would have come through.  Perhaps it’s just the murderous thoughts running through my brain, but something clicked that day.  And from there, the gates just kinda opened.”

Since that session so long ago with Dr. Freud, Moonbeam has learned to let go of the expectations of his father and deal with life on his own terms.

Where is he now?

Moonbeam has found peace and love living in a small flat in London.  He still visits his own country from time to time with his wife, renowned herbalist Umma Wonderjoy.  Together, they run a flower exporting company that keeps their days busy and their nights restful.  The couple plans to adopt a child in the near future.

Moonbeam Wonderjoy is hoping to add his own ending to his ageless tale.  He has conquered his inner demons one by one, but the admits that fire is still a phobia that he is coming to terms with.  Whatever the future holds for him, we can only hope that his rampaging days are in the past.


The Daily Mock is a satire site meant purely for entertainment purposes. Always vet your news sources and under no circumstances take our word for it.