The Daily Mock
John Bolton wears a coronavirus mask

Government Quarantines John Bolton To Contain Coronavirus Outbreak

Washington, D.C.–The Coronavirus has finally made the leap from mainland China and has arrived in the U.S.  Cases have been reported in Colorado, California, and in the Senate Chambers.

As a result, the U.S. Government has decided to place former Ambassador and National Security Advisor John Bolton in quarantine.

John Bolton Has Already Infected Other Members of Congress

It is unclear at this point how Mr. Bolton’s seclusion from the voting public will help control a deadly outbreak, but as obvious lies are a thing now we are sure that something will be made up.

Alan Dershowitz has already made the claim on the Senate floor Mr. Bolton has already infected many members of Congress.

Symptoms include a lack of a spine, whistleblower name dropping, and deafness.  If Mr. Bolton is allowed to roam free, many Senators are afraid that they will have to call witnesses.

Where will he be kept?

Where Will John Bolton Be Quarantined?

Mr. Bolton is to be shipped to Guantanamo Bay.  He will be arrested by ICE later this week, who has also received reports that the former Ambassador is not an American Citizen.  His in-flight meal will be steak, a nice wine, and roofies delivered by Epstein’s prison guards.

From there, he will be kept in a cell that is too big for children.  He will join other bio-terrorists such as our founding fathers, the tattered remains of our constitution, and Cindy Lawrence.

“I have no idea why I’m here!” stated Mrs. Lawrence, who used to reside in Lawrence, Kansas.  “I was shopping at the Dollar General and some guy asked me if I knew who John Bolton was.  I said yes and the next thing you know I’m roofied on a flight.  I don’t know why I’m here!”

Neither do we, Cindy.  Neither do we.

Contamination!

All of Mr. Bolton’s are slated to be burned.  Included with this burn will be his home, his birth certificate, and the manuscript that is to be published next month.

They will all be put in a nuclear missile and then fired at the moon, which also may have evidence of #Trump’s Treason.

It is unknown how long Mr. Bolton will be quarantined but it will probably end as soon as the impeachment trial is over and Senators are once again inoculated from the truth.