The Daily Mock
HGTV Flip or Flop costars stand in front of the American Capital Building

Hit TV Show ‘Flip Or Flop’ All Set To Renovate House Of Representatives

Washington, DC — The famous couple from the hit TV series Flip Or Flop, Christine and Tarek, are gearing up for their ninth season!  With this season they are taking on their biggest renovation project yet:  The House of Representatives!

A lot of drama is sure to happen, as this house is their biggest challenge yet.  This project home needs more than just a makeover; this will take a total renovation.

The Walk-Through

“Oh, wow, the smell in here is just disgusting!” said Christine as she saw the property for the first time.  “It’s like old man racism combined with AXE body spray.  I think I’m going to gag.”

There’s not a lot that can be saved from the current structure.  The walls have Russian rats that have chewed away at the fabric of democracy that hangs loosely about the place.  To even open the door to transparency required no less than twenty-five different court orders, many of which were just ignored. Sunshine laws seem to not exist in such a dark place.

“There’s always more than damage under the surface than what you normally can see,” said Tarek.  “Oh, wow, see look here under the floorboards.  Yeah, the lobbyists have just destroyed the foundations of this place.  Man, how much is that going to set us back.  I don’t know if we have enough bribe money to turn a profit on this place.”

The Renovations

This season does promise to offer some new design choices.  The main hall will get totally new tile, light fixtures, and a sense of fairness although that may not be enough to cover this ugly duckling.  And as always, Christine and Tarek will have disagreements.

“Look, if we just spend a little more to make sure the House is separated from the Presidential Branch, the American people will spend a lot more on it,” said Christine.

“That’s not going to happen.  There’s just too much dark money flowing through there.  It would cost us too much to get rid of it all.  I don’t think we can really get that many votes.”

Watch a whole new season of Flip Or Flop!