The Daily Mock

Kentucky Couple Says Pandemic-Shpandemic

No one would consider Kentucky to be cutting edge in trendsetting. But Southern hipsters are doing exactly that!

Several Kentuckians were the lucky winners of the latest in high tech ankle jewelry. 

One lucky couple, Elizabeth and Isaiah Linscott, were beyond words when they were chosen. Although their daughter is allowed to join them in this exciting adventure, she is counting the days until she is old enough for an electronic monitoring device of her own. 

Elizabeth decided to get tested on a whim – and getting a positive! – then didn’t sign documents the Kentucky Department of Health sent to her after she saw she only had to check in once a day and had to call whenever she wanted to leave the house. She thought if they really wanted her to sign them, they would have sweetened the pot a little, like offering 24-hour advice on menu planning or career advice. 

It all paid off in the end though. Law enforcement showed up and told them they have to stay within 200 feet of their house! They never have to leave it, at all, for anything! And they get the latest in ankle technology. It’s a win-win. 



The Daily Mock is a satire site meant purely for entertainment purposes. Always vet your news sources and under no circumstances take our word for it.