The Daily Mock

New COVID Treatment Shockingly Won’t Bankrupt You

In a stunning twist of events, a company called Gilead – the one that developed remdesivir – can treat a coronavirus patient with six doses of the drug for a little under $3,000 per person. Expensive? Yes. Way less expensive than anyone who’s ever been part of the American healthcare system would have guessed? Yes!

Get this: The company is actually offering it for LESS than market value!

American Corporation Forgets Which Country It’s In; Is Compassionate

Gilead will price remdesivir at $2,340 for a five-day treatment. This is actually way less than its value. CEO Daniel O’Day (who is possibly Daniel Day Lewis in preparation for an oddly self-referential role) wrote in an open letter, “In normal circumstances, we would price a medicine according to the value it provides…[but] to ensure broad and equitable access at a time of urgent global need, we have set a price for governments of developed countries of $390 per vial.”

Everyone should stock up on their remdesivir before the heads of Gilead remember where we are.

Pssst….

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