Helsinki, Sweden — Nobel prize season is upon us and the most shocking winner of this year’s prestigious class is the entire group of designers and manufacturers of Mom Jeans. These high-waisted women’s denim pants were able to prove that time travel does exist, just not in the way the way that many sci-fi writers imagined.
The pants, typically reserved for those with toddlers or young pre-teens in the late 80s and early 90s, were able to travel forward in time three decades. They can be seen everywhere now, with today’s youth living it up with the fashion that many thought was dead forever. Mom Jeans seems like an unlikely way to prove that time travel exists, but then again so did Einstein—the dog in the Back to the Future movies.
How Time Traveled Was Solved
Many years ago, before cell phones and internet porn, Mom Jeans came of age. You could often find them at the mall, a park, or sometimes at a New Kids On The Block concert. Worn by very fashionable ladies who wanted to keep tummies tucked in while showing ample junk in the trunk, these pants became a staple of the era. And then, one day they were gone. Many theorized that they were killed by Spanx.
However, their disappearance was just a natural side-effect of time travel. What was a single microsecond for Mom Jeans, the rest of the world aged thirty years? The population got older, those moms from yesteryear became grandma’s, and somehow hoverboards didn’t live up to their hype in 2015. Then, poof, Mom Jeans came back, thus proving that time travel is possible although it appears to only work one way as Hitler never wore mom jeans to the best of our knowledge.
What’s Next For Mom Jeans?
Mom Jeans and their team plan to show up to accept their Nobel prize and donate all their winnings to purchase the syndication rights to Cheers. In the meantime, they also hope to party like it’s 1999 by holding a cocktail party where they will serve celery sticks smeared with peanut butter.