Sharks in Containers Were on Very Important Business Trip

Sharks in Containers Were on Very Important Business Trip


Baltimore, MD – As the world gets back to normal, that means that business gets back to normal. And for two sharks traveling in a tank down the highway, it’s time to get back to those high-pressure meetings that make the business world turn. 

People seem shocked to see two sharks traveling in a container on the back of a truck, but in the world of high finance, bringing in closers like this is all part of the game. Wall Street is poised to pop some financial bubbles and there’s no better team to do that than Rick and Jack Stevens, Sharks In Tanks—the problem-solvers for your business. 

Their first stop, Amazon.

Amazon, Seattle, WA

Amazon has seen its profits soar during the pandemic, and they aren’t going to let any pesky unions bust up their bottom line. Rick and Jack are on the way to do some predatory negotiations to make sure those workers are paid less than they deserve and keep peeing in bottles to make their quota. 

And when Rick and Jack do their job right, maybe there will be some chum left in the water for the rest of the vultures.

Nestle, Fort Smith, AR

Nestle once believed that water was not a right that most humans should have without paying for it. Rick and Jack Stevens agree and are planning to make a pitstop to talk to regulators of the great state of Arkansas. 

Water belongs to Rick and Jack, and if you want to go fishing, then you have to pay the bill. Never fight sharks in their natural habitat, which has been trademarked by Nestle. 

Comcast, Philadelphia, PA

Comcast once ruled the cable market in much the same way that Rick and Jack rule the food chain of the deep. But even after name changes and subsidiary companies, they can’t seem to beat the streamers. Jack and Rick have something to say about that. 

They will have a little meeting with Comcast before devouring their competition such as Netflix and Hulu. After that, maybe they will swing back over to Amazon for some unfinished business. 

Exxon Mobile, Anchorage, AL

You may have forgotten about Exxon Mobile, but Rick and Jack haven’t. They haven’t because they are paid to remember. And what they remember is all those selfish sea lion pups and stupid birds creating a PR nightmare. 

Rick and Jack plan to go on a feeding frenzy so that kind of publicity never happens again. There are sharks in the water, and you better beware before taking video again.

Aunt Pearl’s Bakery, Omaha, NE

Not every client of Rick and Jack Stevens are big fortune 500 companies. To give back to the community, they like to support small businesses like Aunt Pearl’s Bakery. Home of the world-famous Fried Apple Pies, Rick and Jack don’t take too kindly to health inspectors showing up unexpectedly. 

Besides, rat droppings build character and make for a great cream sauce. At the heart of Rick and Jack’s business is that they are problem-solvers. 

Martha’s Vineyard, MA

Sometimes, business is personal. Rick and Jack plan to finish this leg of their business with a little stop at Martha’s Vineyard and have a word with one Sheriff Brody. Even though Jaws came out 45 years ago, sharks have amazingly long memories. 

And what they remember is their simple cousin just munching on some troublesome tourists before Sheriff Brody blew his head off with a fire extinguisher. Maybe the good sheriff and the townsfolk will think twice before going shark hunting again. 

Sharks in Tanks

When sharks can travel in tanks, there are a lot of business opportunities to be had. From closing simple hostile takeovers to paying a visit to regulators, Rick and Jack have a full year planned ahead of them. And if you see them out there on the open road, it’s best to keep your eyes down, your hands and legs inside your vehicle, and your cellphones on silent. 

They are always ready to take a bite out of the competition. Just make sure that the competition isn’t you and your family. And if you’re a company looking to solve a problem, look no further than Rick and Jack Stevens for the solution.