Hollywood, CA — Never has there ever been a week so chock full of storylines for Hollywood to take advantage of. Hallmark now has enough movie of the week submissions to keep them in business for a decade without a single re-run.
The rest of Hollywood has followed their example. Let’s take a look through both movies and TV you can expect this spring.
Our favorite anti-hero is back in the follow up to his classic Escape from L.A. This time, Snake is infected with a deadly virus and the only cure is with the President’s daughter who is being held hostage at Walter Reed Medical Center.
Snake takes on the establishment and charges in, only to find that it was never the President’s daughter he was after, but the medical records being held from the public.
The President is the super spreader! Action will fly as Snake makes yet another daring escape to bring justice to the rest of the world from a tyrannical government.
Two people, one plastic shield, and the love of the country at stake. Armed only with the power of pink eye, our hero tries to convince the American that he’s just a boy, standing in front of a camera, asking the country to believe his lies.
On the opposite side of our hero, a woman waits to be mocked for her appearance as she is attacked not for the content of her words, but for the quality of her suit. Love is blind, but not behind the Pence Fence.
“Excuse me, waiter? There’s a Pence in my soup!” This and many other classic lines performed live at the Apollo Theater and as a stand-up special on Netflix. The Fly makes takes his show on the road.
He exploded onto the comedy scene by streaking the last Vice-Presidential Debate. How did he get past security? The same way COVID-19 did! The laughs never stop as the Fly takes through his journey to stardom.
This spring, get ready for the sitcom of the year with Your Favorite President! Shot entirely in front of an infected studio audience, Your Favorite President features a man that is clearly in over his head. Should he incite an insurrection to win the next election?
Can he hide his taxes long enough to get the first commercial break? Maybe he should just nuke California? With Your Favorite President, you never know what’s going to happen! Special guest appearances by Rudolph Giuliani and the corpse of Chris Christie.
Herman Cain even makes a comeback to let the world that there is no reason to wear a mask. Your Favorite President will hit you right in the feels, and then in your ballot box as your vote is discarded by the Proud Boys.
In a world where right and wrong are ignored, Liam Neeson is off on another adventure that will change the legal system for a generation. Four years ago, a supreme court seat was stolen!
Now he has a chance to make things right, but only if he can fight through the Christian Right. Facing impossible odds, he takes on the Republican Mafia controlled by Mitch McConnell to get back what was once the rightful property of the American People.
Watch out, here comes Lindsey Graham and he’s coughing! Never before has Liam Neeson faced a harder fight than he will in Taken Supreme.
Daytime TV just got a new soap opera with All My COVIDS to premiere on Fox News this spring. Staring Kellyanne Conway, Hope Hicks, Kayleigh McEnany, and Senator Ron Johnson, All My COVIDS offers all the intrigue and love triangles that fans of soaps have come to love.
There’s trouble in the Conway house as Kellyanne’s daughter uses TikTok to pass messages onto the world. Hope Hicks goes missing, and Senator Ron Johnson works to infect the rest of the Senate.
Forget other nominations for the daytime Emmys. All My COVIDS will complete the sweep as they try to convince the American people that there is no reason to be tested.
The next six months look full of great storylines that the rest of us will forget by next week. No worries, by then enough will go wrong that those will take over your news feed and distract you from the dystopian future we all now find ourselves living in.