The Daily Mock
an annoyed teacher wielding a giant pencil

Teachers Claim Parents are Making Too Much Money

Dallas, Tx —Area teachers are petitioning Congress to actually cut stimulus funding for parents.  Parents are currently receiving $500 per child to help them transition from working parents to homeschooling parents.

Teachers Unions claim that the money would be better spent on billboards that say “Ha, Ha, Who’s overpaid now?”  There are some members of Congress that seem sympathetic to the argument.

Parents are Glorified Babysitters

“Parents are no more than glorified babysitters,” stated union rep Simon Reilly.  “They have to work what, maybe three months out of the year?  And then, after that oh so tough time, they dump the kids off on the public school systems again.

Let’s be honest here, are those parents really working at all?  Nope.  Anybody can prepare a lesson plan across multiple disciplines and then convey that information while also nurturing the emotional development of young minds.

It’s easy, right?  Right!  Get a real job hippy!”  Mrs. Reilly then ran away cackling as she had a zoom meeting with her fellow teachers.

Are Parents on a vacation? 

Many parents are either working from home at the moment.  This gives the impression that they aren’t working at all.  While they work from home they are also attempting to teach their children.

Work productivity has dropped, as well as the children’s IQ.  This is concerning to some as we all know teaching is a super easy job.

So easy that it only requires years of education and multiple certifications, not to mention a student teaching job prior to running your own classroom.

It is unknown why parents can’t get this done in a weekend or two.  Perhaps paying parents $500 in stimulus is too much.

School Supplies.

“The kids are using their computers constantly to look up facts and attend group learning sessions,” said parent Rick Perky.  “And that’s sucking up all my internet!  I have to pay for that out of my own pocket.

Not to mention books for the kids to read, pencils and paper, and a petting zoo.  Where is all this extra money supposed to come from!  How am I supposed to afford to live.”

Many parents are urged to get a second job and quit sucking off the teat of the American taxpayer.

Pssst….

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